Wednesday, October 4, 2006
Stuff or Japanese Generosity
So a few weeks ago we went over to our friend Diane's house to help her move some large stones for her garden, where we met Kenta, a college student soon to be teacher, a family friend of theirs. It turns out Kenta's parents are tearing down his grandparent's house so they can build themselves a new one on the larger lot. Diane told us they are trying to get rid of "a table and a dishwasher and some stuff," and we were invited to "go over and take a look at it, and see if it was anything we wanted."
Being the scroungers (or is that scoundrels?) that we are, we gladly accepted, and Monday we went over. First, where we were expecting to find an old, perhaps crumbling, house that had somehow gone past its prime, instead we found a beautiful looking 40 year old house that seemed wholly without defect or visible blemish. I couldn't believe they would think it made sense to tear it down, but according to my sources, it gives you an idea of how "disposable" modern Japanese housing is, apparently.
And instead of the table and dishwasher, what they were offering us soon became such a litany of items of great value, in pristine condition, that I soon lost track of everything. We made a list, and even then we forgot to put things on the list that we only recalled later. It included another bookcase, a kitchen cabinet, a kentatsu (heated table for winter -- a Japanese tradition), a sofa and two matching sofa chairs, some more tables, curtains, the dishwasher, and a host of delicate and possibly antique or collectible Japanese dolls. I am sure i am missing something in this list.
Oh, yes, I am. A HUGE hi-def TV.
All this for the taking.
We were completely overwhelmed and I completely lost my ability to speak coherently. I didn't know how to react gracefully. It was interesting to be the recipient of so much generosity. I am usually not a person to put much value in material objects, arguably to a fault, but this definetely began to touch some of my hot buttons: greed, avarice, covetousness, envy, selfishness and so on. I had to consciously think about my avidous (?word?) feelings, and I am still thinking about it.
Thinking back on other times I've had to accept gifts, I think I feel like I am lucky that I have found ways to respond gracefully when I need to (and likewise when behaving generously). Never as well as I would like, but enough to keep from unbearable embarassment over not having "great stuff". But this time, especially because of the slimness of our acquaintance, and of the cultural ambiguities I felt around the meeting, I began to feel growing embarrassment as they kept showing us more stuff. It got really bad when they led us into the bathroom and offered us a wispy metal towel rack. Were they having us on?????
So we may be living in squalor, but we will have the nicest furniture on the block. And a little more humility than usual...
Being the scroungers (or is that scoundrels?) that we are, we gladly accepted, and Monday we went over. First, where we were expecting to find an old, perhaps crumbling, house that had somehow gone past its prime, instead we found a beautiful looking 40 year old house that seemed wholly without defect or visible blemish. I couldn't believe they would think it made sense to tear it down, but according to my sources, it gives you an idea of how "disposable" modern Japanese housing is, apparently.
And instead of the table and dishwasher, what they were offering us soon became such a litany of items of great value, in pristine condition, that I soon lost track of everything. We made a list, and even then we forgot to put things on the list that we only recalled later. It included another bookcase, a kitchen cabinet, a kentatsu (heated table for winter -- a Japanese tradition), a sofa and two matching sofa chairs, some more tables, curtains, the dishwasher, and a host of delicate and possibly antique or collectible Japanese dolls. I am sure i am missing something in this list.
Oh, yes, I am. A HUGE hi-def TV.
All this for the taking.
We were completely overwhelmed and I completely lost my ability to speak coherently. I didn't know how to react gracefully. It was interesting to be the recipient of so much generosity. I am usually not a person to put much value in material objects, arguably to a fault, but this definetely began to touch some of my hot buttons: greed, avarice, covetousness, envy, selfishness and so on. I had to consciously think about my avidous (?word?) feelings, and I am still thinking about it.
Thinking back on other times I've had to accept gifts, I think I feel like I am lucky that I have found ways to respond gracefully when I need to (and likewise when behaving generously). Never as well as I would like, but enough to keep from unbearable embarassment over not having "great stuff". But this time, especially because of the slimness of our acquaintance, and of the cultural ambiguities I felt around the meeting, I began to feel growing embarrassment as they kept showing us more stuff. It got really bad when they led us into the bathroom and offered us a wispy metal towel rack. Were they having us on?????
So we may be living in squalor, but we will have the nicest furniture on the block. And a little more humility than usual...
Labels: life in japan
permalink posted at
7:00:00 AM 
